Permanence vs. Impermanence
When we have a thought or an unfavorable issue that disturbs our peace of mind, how do we deal with it? Do you even want to deal with it? Does it rightfully belong to someone else? Those are the questions we ask ourselves initially as we hope to avoid the work.
To quote author Byron Katie of “The Work,” Is the problem that’s disturbing you true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? How do you react when you believe that thought? Who would you be without the thought?
I’ve used this process for years before I found Zen Buddhism. I still ask the question, “Is what I’m thinking true” or has my outraged mind adjusted some of the facts to make my point and to make myself even more angry.
As you decide and proactively choose to make your life more peaceful, you start looking at these parameters for being upset versus knowing peace no matter what the situation.
If you evaluate upsetting thoughts that would set your mood closer to anger or depression, Zen Buddhism offers the evaluation tool: Permanence versus Impermanence.
How bad is this problem? Will it resolve in the next few days or weeks? Will it stay with me through the rest of my life? Will it stay with me after I leave this incarnation? Will I carry it with my spirit self into whatever is next for me?
With time you will find that nothing is permanent. Most things will go away. We can affirm the thoughts and upset are dissolved and resolved back to their original cause, but we also need to talk it out.
With skill you can move the problem to the delete button of your internal smart phone. This isn’t metaphysically sweeping it under the rug. We know that if it’s not dealt with, it will pop up later at the most inconvenient time possible (“The Shadow Effect,” by Debbie Ford).
I believe it’s important to work through the issue with a coach or a close friend (i.e. Fusatsu) who won’t put up with your stuff… Someone who will keep you accountable to yourself. Sometimes discussing it with your friend will help you release it immediately. For myself, I have found this process very helpful. I’ve been able to release PTSD just by knowing it’s an impermanent situation and having had the talk with my close friend.
Zen teachings on impermanence invite us to notice that life is always changing. You don’t need to have all the answers to begin. You start now. And the next now. And again now. And one more time now. Do you see my point?
It’s better to be in the flow. Let us know if you need support and know that you are loved.